the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
