do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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