I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
