My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
