Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
