Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
