Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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