I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
