I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
