what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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