Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
