so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
