Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
