I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
