i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
is that a dick in a sweater?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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