Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
