you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
