there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
