ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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