I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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