If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
