yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
