that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
