dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
