in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
