dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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