careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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