Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
