I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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