Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
