Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
