There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
