I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
