I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
