if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
