i would punch a child for taco bell
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
