I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
