and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I will be naked everywhere
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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