4 words: hood of his car
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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