Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
