So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
