VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
