I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
