peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
