drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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