Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
