i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
