That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
The power of my boobs compel you
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
