theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
