her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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