He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
